Why Did I Decide to go Zero Waste?

There’s lots of articles on the Internet about how to go zero waste and a lot of them have many great tips in common. However, each person’s journey to go zero waste is different and can inspire others. Here’s mine 🙂

In early 2017 I started going through my belongings and purging as I was preparing to move to an apartment for a year and then to move to another state after that. I wanted to have everything ready to go at a moment’s notice. I looked at my clothes, books, mementos and everything I had collected in 23 years and realized I had already amassed a HUGE amount of stuff.

I also had recently lived at my grandparents’ house for a month to help them out a bit and saw just how many things two humans can collect in 80+ years. They weren’t hoarders, were organized, and had already done a large purge when downsizing their house a few years earlier. Just looking at all of the items they had gave me such anxiety that I came home and decided I wanted simplicity and the necessities.

While some people have used the KonMari method, I mostly used my own method of “Do I need this? Do I want this? And, do I even know what this is for?” If I said no to these questions, it most likely hit the donate pile. I also realized that to truly simplify my belongings and to have a more minimalist lifestyle, it wasn’t going to happen with one purge over one day.

Here I am over a year later and I’m still working on downsizing. What I’ve found to be the most interesting change is my mindset. I absolutely grew up with the mentality of, “I want it now so I must get it now”. My purchases were spontaneous and many didn’t give me any long-term benefits. Now, for the most part, I try not to buy things I want unless I truly can give myself a reason for bringing that item into my life.

I’m finding it especially difficult as I prepare to move into my first home. I feel like I have to get everything I could possibly need and I need to get it now. To ease my nesting urges, if I think of something I’ll need I put it in the back of my mind and look for the best possible option for me. For example, I wanted to get coasters (because no one likes rings on their tables, duh) and didn’t want to just buy them from a large corporate store. Instead I thought about how I would love to have them be small pieces of art that involved nature, and of course acted as decent coasters. It’s such a simple thing to look for but I looked for coasters for MONTHS before I finally find a set I liked. They are made from wood, handmade with flowers and watercolor, and are absolutely perfect.

Another mindset change I’ve found is reusing items I already have, such as reusing a beautiful tea container as gift wrap. I think back to my habits in college and I can tell even then I was stressed from the number of things I had. Now my purchases are more thoughtful and I’m more aware of my buying power. I also have come to learn quite a bit about the importance of zero waste for our environment, which has spurned my journey on further.

I went zero waste for selfish reasons and have now come to see it as an essential movement in helping the planet and lowing our impact as humans on our environment. If you have any interest in going zero waste please comment any questions below!

Thanks for reading! xoxo

Advertisements

The Battle of the Slice

Eating pizza in public has become my new Everest. As someone on the road to recovery from an eating disorder, eating pizza has become an emotional rollercoaster of an experience. I write this as I sit in my favorite pizza place, listening to classic rock and trying to fight the voices in my head as the lunch rush hits full swing.

For those who have never dealt with an eating disorder, it’s a bitch. Every meal becomes a test. Am I getting better? Am I getting worse? I’ve suffered from binge eating disorder for over 3 years now but I don’t think I’ve ever had a healthy relationship with food.

Right now I’m forcing myself to sit in a booth and slowly eat my biggest trigger food. Pizza. That’s right, pizza. Chewy crust, melted cheese, the works. It breaks all my food rules and has become my go-to binge food.

This morning I met with one of the doctors I’m seeing while I work through recovery and she praised the baby steps I was making. But, I’m impatient. I want results now. I want to be better now. Recovery isn’t going to happen NOW though.

So I’m taking another baby step. Okay, this is actually a huge baby step. I’m sitting in public eating six wings and two huge slices of cheese pizza. I’m forcing myself to take my time and focus on my food. I’m trying not to binge. Keyword: TRYING. It’s so hard to not give in. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to not give in to the negative thoughts, force the food down my throat and then make my self leave shrouded in embarrassment and shame. FOR EATING PIZZA!

I’m proud of myself though. It wasn’t a perfect experiment, but I’ve been here for 45 minutes when before it would have been 15 minutes. I paused a few times throughout my meal and checked to see where my hunger was at that moment. I’m a little uncomfortably full, but that’s to be expected putting myself in my worse-case-scenario binge position.

I’m only three weeks into my structured recovery process. It’s been a hell of a three weeks. I’ve cried approximately three times this week alone with overwhelming emotions of relief of working on myself to sadness and frustration of officially acknowledging I have an eating disorder. Not eating issues. Not an unhealthy relationship with food. An actual eating disorder.

I can feel my emotions going multiple directions and I know that I have YEARS to go for a full recovery. Right now though, I have baby steps and pizza.

Practicing Radical Self-Care

How many times in the past week have you stopped and realized your muscles were tensed? Have you found yourself drowning in work? Do you avoid work just for a moment of relaxation, just to realize you can’t seem to find it? You need some radical self-care in your life.

These past two weeks have been rough for me. I’m in the beginning of structured eating disorder recovery. My dog passed away last week. My other dog almost drowned. I’ve been avoiding work and causing for my stress level to skyrocket, which makes me want to avoid work even more. And, ironically, I moderated a class today on body positivity and self-care.

It’s time to practice what I preach.

I write this post as I sit in a coffee shop sipping tea and letting my muscles slowly release and relax. I’m doing this because I gave myself back spasms last week and had to get a shot in the ass because of them. So I’m now chilling the hell out.

Screen Shot 2017-10-21 at 5.25.04 PM

For me this means taking time to focus. Focus on what my body needs. What my mind needs. What my emotions need. My body needs more movement and more relaxation. My mind needs one or two goals a day to complete. My emotions need to be validated, acknowledged, and released.

Self-care is easy to talk about but hard to do. With our current societal standards in the U.S. constantly pushing for results, finished to-do-lists, and innovative ideas, we feel guilty if we focus on ourselves. We are deemed selfish, self-absorbed, and lazy. All of these are bullshit.

To use the classic simile, the body is like a machine. If you never restart a machine, if you never fuel it, and if you never give it preventative maintenance, it’s going to shut down. Self-care is preventative maintenance. It’s saying, “I respect my body and my well-being and I’m taking time for me.”

Self-care for me always feels like a chore at first. You’re telling me I have to take an hour and purposefully not get work done? Yes. Yes I am.

Take a bath. Drink a cup of tea outside. Go for a leisurely walk. Stretch your body. Read a good book. Write a blog post. Do something that releases your tension. Feel your face muscles smooth and your eyelids get a little heavy. Breathe. Breathe deeply.

Radical self-care isn’t new. As we get older and take on more in life, it is essential we always go back to ourselves and make time for selfishness.